Being a first-time mom, I thought I would have plenty of time to learn about how to take care of a newborn baby. I had planned to take month off work before the baby arrived, in which to get everything ready, read all the books I had bought, watch all the recommended parenting documentaries. I soon learnt the first lesson of having a baby, that you can plan all you want, but you need to be flexible, because your baby might have other ideas.
Our baby surprised us by arriving two months early. I had nothing ready. I was completely unprepared. As devastating and traumatic as it was having our baby in the Neonatal Intensive Care Unit of the hospital (or the NICU or ‘Nick-You’ as the locals call it), it gave us a month to learn from some of the most experienced professionals about how to take care of a baby. Not just any baby, but a very preterm one, which comes with a whole new set of challenges. I felt like I was suddenly given a crash course in parenting a preemie. I remember the doctor giving me a booklet to read in the hospital. No matter how hard I tried I couldn’t focus on any of the words. I was in shock and on some pretty strong pain medication after my emergency c-section.
The second lesson I learnt was that even if you read every baby book it still won’t prepare you. It’s like reading a manual on how to drive a car. The only way to learn to drive is through practice. The same goes for parenting. I don’t believe anyone is good at it at first, but you learn as you go along. The nurses in the NICU are very special kind of people. Aside from one, all the others I could tell had a real passion for their work. They treat the babies in their care as if they were their own and you have to trust them more than you’ve trusted anyone in your life. In the four weeks Allegra was in the NICU I picked up some very useful tips and these are not only applicable for premature babies but for all newborns and first-time parents.
1. LESS IS MORE
Newborn babies don’t need much stimulation. “During the first month of life, your newborn will spend much of the day sleeping or seeming drowsy,” according to Kids Health. If your baby is born before their due date, this period is longer. A newborn doesn’t need any fancy toys. The world itself is enough stimulation for them and too much daytime stimulation could affect their night-time sleep and overall fussiness. Meg Faure, author of Sleep Sense, says that from 0-6 weeks a baby should only be awake for 45mins at a time. This is only enough time for a feed, a nappy change and possibly a short bath.
2. NEWBORN BABIES SMELL GOOD
Speaking of baths, Allegra was given her first bath the day before she came home from the hospital. That’s 4 weeks after she was born, and it wasn’t that she needed a bath, it was just so the nurses could show us how it was done. Newborn babies have an amazing natural scent which you won’t want to get rid of. For the first 6 weeks a bath once a week is enough and it’s mostly just to get them used to the water. Allegra hated bathing at first and screamed blue murder. If your baby enjoys the water then by all means incorporate it from the beginning. But for those of us who find it a bit too daunting at first, a top and tail bed bath is quite sufficient. Get a soft hooded towel to keep them warm (and looking super cute) and always make sure the room is warm as newborn babies get very cold. The best thing to use to wash and moisturise a newborn is unscented aqueous cream. Fancy scented lotions, oils, soaps and shampoos aren’t really necessary and could cause allergic reactions.
3. PETROLIUM JELLY IS A WINNER
Along with scented lotions, the other thing I learnt that is not really necessary is expensive baby bum creams. In the NICU they use Vaseline. It’s inexpensive, you can buy it almost anywhere and it does the job. It’s all we’ve used since she was born and Allegra has never had a nappy rash. The unscented Blue Seal type is the best but any kind would work. It’s also handy that you can get it in different sizes so I keep a large tub at home and a small tub in my nappy bag.
4. NO MESS, NO FUSS
Believe it or not I had never changed a nappy before Allegra was born. It’s always something that scared me, and it was no different after she arrived, especially because of how tiny she was. The nurses showed me step by step how to change the disposable nappy (cloth ones were far too big), and gave some useful tips as well.
- A blue line on the front of a disposable nappy means it needs to be changed - Always put the clean nappy under the dirty nappy before removing it. - Use a wipe to wipe across your baby’s tummy just underneath the top of the nappy and wait a few seconds before removing it. This mimics the feeling of air hitting their genitals which often makes them wee. This way they tend to go in their nappy before you remove it, instead of right after. I quickly learnt that even baby girls can make fountains. - Another tip is to always stand to the side when changing a nappy. Projectile poos are a thing especially with babies drinking breastmilk. The upside is that breastfed babies poos don’t smell bad. Still it can get messy. Be prepared and don’t have anything fancy near the end of their changing table.
5. BE GENTLE YET FIRM
Changing nappies wasn’t the only thing I was scared of doing. When I was finally allowed to hold my baby, feed her and put clothes on her, it was just as daunting. No matter how many times the nurses assured me that Allegra wouldn’t break, she just looked so fragile that I was sure I would hurt her. However, the more I watched the nurses handle her and other babies, the more I saw how they were gentle yet firm. Newborn babies, especially preemies, don’t like soft strokes or touches. They like firm, constant pressure. Some things that I found helpful for myself was keeping my nails short and dressing her in onesies that opened down the front, so I didn’t have to pull things over her head. Even newborn vests that don’t open in the front are made to stretch so you can take them off the bottom, which is helpful.
6. BREASTFEEDING 101
I’m just going to touch on breastfeeding and expressing milk because that will need another blog post entirely. But one thing I learnt in the NICU is that you don’t need a fancy nursing cushion. There’s nothing wrong with using one but in the NICU they just gave me a normal bed pillow to rest my baby on and to this day that is what I use when I’m at home. One at your back and one on your lap is ideal for comfort. When I’m out I don’t use any pillow and it’s fine. Some quick natural tips to increase your milk supply are Rooibos tea, water, Schlehen Elixir (I just mix a tablespoon in a glass of water), Rehidrat, peanut butter, oats, sparkling wine (in moderation). Also if you’re expressing milk, either looking at your baby or looking at a photo of them can increase the volume of milk you express.
7. WHITE NOISE
The final tip is not so much something I learnt in the NICU as it is something I was reminded of. When my niece was born I watched the documentary, ‘The Happiest Baby On The Block’, which is based on Dr Harvey Karp’s best selling book of the same name. I learnt about the 4th trimester being the first 12 weeks of baby’s life and how you need to mimic the feeling of womb that the baby is used to by making use of the 5 S’s, being swaddling, side or stomach position, swinging, sucking and shushing. There are signs up all over the NICU that say Shhh. This reminded me that when my baby got fussy, I could try making the shush noise in her ear. An extension of this is white noise and we soon found after getting home that putting on the hairdryer would often calm our screaming baby and playing white noise while she was sleeping helped get her to sleep and keep her asleep for longer. There’s no need to buy a white noise machine unless you want to. I simply downloaded a ‘white noise’ app on my phone which I still use today and as a bonus it now helps me to sleep better too.
.jpg)
Comments